i cant stand it anymore.

whats happening to me man.
im upset over a small thing.
i cant stand my family.
i enjoy it when im with myself. theres so much peace.
when they come back theres always this black cloud in the air.
and then they will start yelling at something that is not worth yelling at at all.
like the computer table was cluttered with MY BROTHERS STUFF and he disconnected the keyboard.
WTF.
then i just helped him to pack up the things and waited for a day.
he didnt plug it back.
then i asked my mum.
and she shouted at me for asking her cos it was none of her busniess.
i was like okay and walked away.
does she have to do that?

today i went to pick my brother up after piano from his class at hdb hub.
then i brought him out shopping,just for a while lah.
my mum said that if i brought him back too late i will have to teach my brother.
then i was like okay.
my bro want me to teach him, so he begged me to stay out later.
i refused.
when i reached home it was 3 plus.
my mum was like i have to teach him,
my brother was am-chioing.
so i just went up.
he has some vocab words he dunno wat, so i tried to explain to him, when he didnt understand, i told him to check dict
then he started asking me bai chi questions like why are some words in the dictonary, and what is a meaning of a particular word when the explaination was right beside his finger.
then i succesfully shooed him away and whoosh came my other brother.
i wanted to blog, so I asked him to go away.
then he was like i dont want.
i started telling him about how impolite it was and he said"im impolite wat."
then i just dragged him to another side.
just now during dinner i didnt say a single word.
just telling my ah po to eat after my mum made a sacarstic remark.
and she told my brother off for singing when he was eating.
i got a feeling that she is gonna stop us from doing whatever we like to do.
oh well.
i derived a conclusion after thinking so much.
i dont get any happiness in this house. especially with my parents.
and thinking back, i dun remember anything about the happy times ive spent together with them.
the only time was when i was in K1 and they brought a cake to suprise me when it was my birthday.
but i only remember the incident, not the happy feeling.
and when i was p5, i pestered her for a birthday cake and she was like: " its such a waste of money" but i persisted and asked my relatives to join me for my "birthday party " at my grandmother's house.
then for the whole thing she was nagging about how much the cake was.
It was less than twenty bucks.
then my grandma was like(in chinese): you schluld be happy that she wants to have a birthday cake, cos after a few years you wont be able to celebrate her bday with her anymore.
and she was right. this year,i didnt request a birthday cake. and i had one of the happiest birthdays i ever had.
my grandmother is the only one who understands me well.

and i realised that im happier outside my so called home.