.

i really dont know what im doing now.
im supposed to be studying and stuff but i really dont know what to do.
so many things undone.
fuck.
and i normally end up slacking, which sucks.
rawhh
im seriously gonna fail.
everyone now is like sending out the signal that they are studying very hard, dont go disturb them, like all appearing offline and stuff like that.
maybe i shouldnt feel so damn stressed out, but if i dont i will fail everything and be worrying later.
what if i retain, what if i get kicked back to some neighbourhood mainstream school.
fuck, that will be wasting one year of my horrible horrible life.
urgh, my life is not horrible,rawhh, i dont know how to phrase it.
WHY IS THE EFFING SCHOOL HAVING STUPID EXAMS AT THIS TIME.
AND PUTTING OBS IN THE HOLIDAYS AS WELL.
FFFFFFFF.
i want to study like all those nerds, i want to be a nerd.
study study study, i want to excel at it.
since there is nothing i excel at, nothing im proud of, i might as well do well at it.
and see, what am i doing now, venting all my frustrations in a stupid blog post in a stupid blog that should cease to exist.
i spend the whole day looking at books and i feel that i have not been doing anything at all,
in fact, i cant remember studying anything.
rawhh.
why.
its so unfair how some people can have everything and some people have to work so hard for it.
i dont mind being like paris hilton, shes like rich and pretty, and studies dont matter to her cos she's a heiress.
although i wont be so dumb to break the law.
wtf.
rawhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
i seriously should start studying like a nerd.
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.
my longest post of many days.